My name is Jithesh I have been crossdressing since my 17th year.. Even before that I was extremely excited to watch girls wearing frilly dresses and make ups but never knew why. Since my child hood, I was very shy and confined to myself. I have one brother and sister. My sister was good singer and dancer and though I want to learn singing and dancing because of my shyness I could not do it in my early days. But I always use to love classical dances and more particularly Mohiniyattam. During my school days, there use to be dance competetion where in the boys use to dress as girl for participating in Mohiniyattam dance.I use to simply love it and use to fantasise about it.. but I could never do it..
During my college days my secret dressing confined only to my house. After my post graduation I got chances to work outside. I went to Bangalore for my first job and decided to stay alone in a one room ktichen accomodation. I was very happy because I got opportunity to live as a girl. After coming from office I never go anywhere. I will switch into female cloths, make ups and wigs and will completely remain as a girl, cook food for myself and sleep in lady dresses. Morning, painfully I will switch over to male dress and then go to work. It was a Travel and Tour company and there was lot of females there. Also, I was more close with them than male collegues. Out of those, there was one lady who was elder than me and was divorced. I was very close to them and use to talk a lot with her. Once on a saturday, she wanted to go for shopping and casually asked me if I can join her and select a dress for her. I was very happy and we started. That was a big break! as we were seaching for dresses, I started invovling too much and started talking too much about dresses, combinations etc., she was really surprised. She liked my selection and tastes.. She asked me curiously I have never seen you so excited and your selection was so good.. How did you get this quality? I was initially very shy but then I told her that I always use to like female dresses and costumes and I like well dressed and made up females.. Then she asked me a question straight? Have you ever dressed in female cloths?? It was a straight question and I was perplexed but then I said. Yes, once for a group dance program, I had worn female costumes and I added that I had learned some classical dance. She was very excited and she asked why you did not continue? I said my parents did not like it as my taste was in Mohiniyattam which is only prcticed by females so I could not. She said no, you should do it I know one teacher who teaches Mohiniyattam. I can ask her if she can teach you.. I am sure you will look very cute in Mohinyattam dresses. I was extremely happy and could not control my excitment. We became very close after that and I opened up all my feelings with her. She told me that even without you telling, I always felt that you are a woman inside and I was very comfortable with you because of that!! She said, I would love to help you to fulfill your dreams...
Next day, sunday she called me and asked me to get ready to go to the dance teachers house. we met near the bustand and took a rikshaw to her house. We reached her house around 11.30. It was a beautiful place and a traditional construction. once you enter the main door, you will see a big hall on the left side where the practice session happens. There was about 4 girls practicing on the floor. My heart started beating fast... The teacher greated my friend and called us inside. My friend took the teacher outside for a while and kept me waiting in the hall. I was delightfully watching the girls practicing in elegent steps. after 15minutes both of them came inside and then the teacher announced the class is over and bid bye to the students. We were only 3 in the room. The teacher looked at me very curiously and smiled. She told my friend that I have very nice features and I will look very graceful in dance postures. I smiled with little shyness and my face was down. The Teacher slowly came close to me and touched my chin and lifted my face slowly... She said, your friend has told me about you and I am very happy to support you. I will make you a 'beautiful female dancer'.. but you should promise me that you will obey me.. I delightfully said sure.
Teacher started explaining. Mohiniyattam is rightfully is a female dance form and the success of it depends on the feminine grace that the dancer throws. She told me on my face that God has given you the feminine grace so you are very lucky. But you need to always remember this in your mind. You cannot display any mascular or manly posture which will ruin the beauty of this dance. So, even when you practice, you should wear female cloths and accessories.. (I was really excited. Infact I wanted to request the same with her, luckly she herself demanded it). She said, you may buy some nice churidhars and make up kits for you and we will start the session tomorrow itself. Initially, I shall give you classes individually, later on , you can be put in to the other groups. I was so delighted that tears started flowing from my eyes. both my friend and teacher noticed and asked me what happened? I said I really thank God who took me to you. The teacher just simply embraced me and very affectionately patted on my back and said, Nothing to worry, 'girl' you are in safe hands! The word 'girl' created a sudden and deep impact on me.. I did not have any more words to say. After a while, we left the place and my friend was equally excited and was talking too much about what I should do and where to go for shopping for my dresses etc., On that evening itself, we did our shopping and collected 3 very nice dresses. My frined also bought couple of bras, skrits and nighties for me.. That night Icould not sleep.. my dream was going to happen.. It was wonderful. I dressed up in nighty with lipstic and wig.. whole night I was dreaming....eyes well opened
To be continued...
During my college days my secret dressing confined only to my house. After my post graduation I got chances to work outside. I went to Bangalore for my first job and decided to stay alone in a one room ktichen accomodation. I was very happy because I got opportunity to live as a girl. After coming from office I never go anywhere. I will switch into female cloths, make ups and wigs and will completely remain as a girl, cook food for myself and sleep in lady dresses. Morning, painfully I will switch over to male dress and then go to work. It was a Travel and Tour company and there was lot of females there. Also, I was more close with them than male collegues. Out of those, there was one lady who was elder than me and was divorced. I was very close to them and use to talk a lot with her. Once on a saturday, she wanted to go for shopping and casually asked me if I can join her and select a dress for her. I was very happy and we started. That was a big break! as we were seaching for dresses, I started invovling too much and started talking too much about dresses, combinations etc., she was really surprised. She liked my selection and tastes.. She asked me curiously I have never seen you so excited and your selection was so good.. How did you get this quality? I was initially very shy but then I told her that I always use to like female dresses and costumes and I like well dressed and made up females.. Then she asked me a question straight? Have you ever dressed in female cloths?? It was a straight question and I was perplexed but then I said. Yes, once for a group dance program, I had worn female costumes and I added that I had learned some classical dance. She was very excited and she asked why you did not continue? I said my parents did not like it as my taste was in Mohiniyattam which is only prcticed by females so I could not. She said no, you should do it I know one teacher who teaches Mohiniyattam. I can ask her if she can teach you.. I am sure you will look very cute in Mohinyattam dresses. I was extremely happy and could not control my excitment. We became very close after that and I opened up all my feelings with her. She told me that even without you telling, I always felt that you are a woman inside and I was very comfortable with you because of that!! She said, I would love to help you to fulfill your dreams...
Next day, sunday she called me and asked me to get ready to go to the dance teachers house. we met near the bustand and took a rikshaw to her house. We reached her house around 11.30. It was a beautiful place and a traditional construction. once you enter the main door, you will see a big hall on the left side where the practice session happens. There was about 4 girls practicing on the floor. My heart started beating fast... The teacher greated my friend and called us inside. My friend took the teacher outside for a while and kept me waiting in the hall. I was delightfully watching the girls practicing in elegent steps. after 15minutes both of them came inside and then the teacher announced the class is over and bid bye to the students. We were only 3 in the room. The teacher looked at me very curiously and smiled. She told my friend that I have very nice features and I will look very graceful in dance postures. I smiled with little shyness and my face was down. The Teacher slowly came close to me and touched my chin and lifted my face slowly... She said, your friend has told me about you and I am very happy to support you. I will make you a 'beautiful female dancer'.. but you should promise me that you will obey me.. I delightfully said sure.
Teacher started explaining. Mohiniyattam is rightfully is a female dance form and the success of it depends on the feminine grace that the dancer throws. She told me on my face that God has given you the feminine grace so you are very lucky. But you need to always remember this in your mind. You cannot display any mascular or manly posture which will ruin the beauty of this dance. So, even when you practice, you should wear female cloths and accessories.. (I was really excited. Infact I wanted to request the same with her, luckly she herself demanded it). She said, you may buy some nice churidhars and make up kits for you and we will start the session tomorrow itself. Initially, I shall give you classes individually, later on , you can be put in to the other groups. I was so delighted that tears started flowing from my eyes. both my friend and teacher noticed and asked me what happened? I said I really thank God who took me to you. The teacher just simply embraced me and very affectionately patted on my back and said, Nothing to worry, 'girl' you are in safe hands! The word 'girl' created a sudden and deep impact on me.. I did not have any more words to say. After a while, we left the place and my friend was equally excited and was talking too much about what I should do and where to go for shopping for my dresses etc., On that evening itself, we did our shopping and collected 3 very nice dresses. My frined also bought couple of bras, skrits and nighties for me.. That night Icould not sleep.. my dream was going to happen.. It was wonderful. I dressed up in nighty with lipstic and wig.. whole night I was dreaming....eyes well opened
To be continued...
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